we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
