Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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