so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
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