barbara walters just said penis...
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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