left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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