I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
