Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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