And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
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I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
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I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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