another moral hangover. fuck.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
