Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
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im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
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I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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