Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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