Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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