Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I think a kid would responsible me up
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
