Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus

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(443): View more from Maryland

I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly

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(480): View more from Arizona

he seriously made his penis a facebook.

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(207): View more from Maine

DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career

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(333): View more from

im calling her cock vulture from now on

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite

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(613): View more from Ontario

This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.

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