So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
