you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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