Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
