Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
