Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
