I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
