Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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