just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
