lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
