Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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