what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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