My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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