Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
home. puking in laundry basket.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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