i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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