And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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