I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
