My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
