she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
