so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
We left the knife in your bed.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
