Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
