My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
