So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
