you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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