final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
So vagazzling was a success
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
