If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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