Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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