He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I can't turn off my feet"
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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