I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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