Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
