New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
