I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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