That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
