Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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