it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
