Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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