why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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