So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
FUCK WHALES
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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