K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
