The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize