You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Are we still banned from the library?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize