dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
