Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
