hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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