smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
