I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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