im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Randomize
