i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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