just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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